Fear brought on by illness & not a Master.
2001-10-22 // 4:51 p.m.
This slave still has the odd episode of confusion, forgetfulness & lack of concentration. It is not as bad as it has been, but still enough to worry this slave. This slave is now afraid to go out on her own just encase she forgets where she is going, who she is or where she lives.
This slave does not know if she is getting better or what she has been going through will reasserts it's self. It already means this slave cannot drive Master anywhere because of Doctors orders. What other things is it going to take from this slave & when is this slave to find out what it is?
Master has been great in trying to find out what is wrong with this slave & giving her other ways in which to please him & this slave thanks Master for this. This does not take the fear away from this slave when Master is not there. Even writing this log is harder than it ever used to be. This slave has to keep writing some words over & over again, because she keeps putting the letters in the wrong order. This has had to make sure she checks all her written work, with Microsoft word to make sure she has not made any silly mistakes.
When will this torment of this slave end?
This slave still enjoys it when she baths Master & when he baths her as a treat. The things that this slave does for Master keeps her going & as Master say there are many ways to serve him.
Thank you Master.
"He is Master, i am slave
He is owner and i am owned
He commands and i obey
He is to be pleased and i am to please
why is this?
Because He is Master and i am slave"