A slave's heavy heart.
2001-11-07 // 2:23 a.m.
It is now 1.20am on Wednesday morning & this slave has had her lashes & more besides. Now this slave has a heavy heart as she feels she has let her Master & herself down.
This slave was given 20 smacks, 10 on each cheek of her bottom, but that was not the end of it. Master then got the flogger & gave her 32 lashes across her bottom & between her legs. Now the skin of this slave is smarting & very warm. Master still has more in store for this slave, he uses a pin to gage if she is numb & where. Master then gives this slave 2 more smacks, because she still has some white patches.
Master then tells this slave to get a towel & resume the position. Master then starts to tease this slave�s clit & fist her until she came. This slave did orgasm & flood, But she did not have the full blown all over body orgasm that she can have.
This slave feels as if she has robed her Master of something special that he enjoys seeing. This slave also feels as if she has robed herself of the feelings of happiness, contentment & relaxation that she normally feels after.
This slave now knows how a man must feel when he cannot get it up or cum. This slave feels a loss & she feels lost. This slave feels empty & does not know what to do about it. This slave feels as if she is a failure & just wants to curl up in a ball & cry.
This slave feel as if she is morning the loss of the full body orgasm that she has had in the past with Master, where her whole body would go into spasms of erotic pleasure & would leave her tingling all over.
Master has been so good about it & says it happens, thing just weren�t right this time. Master says it could be any number of reasons for it to happen, that it could be stress, a hormone imbalance, & the illness that she has had or just simply that she just wanted it to happen too much.
What ever happened it does not help this slave, she feels so inadequate, so small & ashamed. This slave just wants to curl up in a ball & hide. This slave feels for all the men that go through these same feeling.
This slave is off to bed now to curl up & cry, & hopes thing will look better in the morning. This slave hopes she will, because she does not want to feel the same way. This slave feels so alone & yet she is not.
"He is Master, i am slave
He is owner and i am owned
He commands and i obey
He is to be pleased and i am to please
why is this?
Because He is Master and i am slave"